Tailgaiting in Mt Hood and the biggest blowout ever.

This was the view from my tailgating to the Ducks first football game. The ducks snuffed out those poor bastards from New Mexico 72-0. At the base of the tallest mountain in Oregon, Mt Hood, I listened to history on the radio of a Tacoma. The biggest upset in Autzen stadium happened on saturday and the forked tongue of fate and a group of young writers with a penchant for spirited times schlepped me here. Snuggled against the cascades and with the bluest sky I have ever seen In my life I drank beer and listen to the football game alongside a dirty truck.

The hours before kick off were spent swimming in cold springs, shooting a bow and arrow,burning devil wood, smoking cigarettes, laughing maniacally, soul searching, hiking, debating scattered illusions, Mudin', exchanging kinetic energy, drinking Keystone and red wine, and dancing with Dionysus. The intensity felt in our tent city was at a frothy slobbering pace. And the wildlife ran fast in the opposite directions for their survival. Just as New Mexico should have done . It seemed a strange ritual at the time that these sad children had to drive all the way to Eugene Oregon and deliberately and elaborately arrange their own funeral.

We celebrated first contact after kick off with primal screams and hard bony hugs of joy and delirium. And listened to the party animals in Eugene (drinking off there hangovers with jager in an empty camel light packs) scream with us. This is why they invented sports. To commune with god and family with nothing else but the sharing of an individual experience. Maybe theatre in the park is close for some.

I calmed my mind with a couple games of chess in the back of the Tacoma. As I was playing I was attempting to listen carefully to the game. The importance of which was never lost. What I noticed was goobers gabble fragments of waste. The announcers were Oregon State Beaver talking heads and sounded bored and a little nervous over the score. The thought of Eugene being very drunk and loud gave me great joy .

Everyone performed liked they should have, although I would have loved to be a part of a 80 point game. The ducks must travel now to Knoxville Tennessee next week to face some severely talented hillbillies surrounded by 109,000 thousand petulant hayseeds. The Ducks needed to stretch their legs a little.

The Records

59-0 at halftime

720 total yards

72 total points (tie)

5 TD Kenjon Barner ( tie)

They also held the Lobos to a total of 107 yards and forced 5 turnovers

After the game I thought of 4,000 pasty white men in Eugene opening their Register Guard and jetting straight to the Sports section, with a bit of pre cum dripping they smile endlessly at the stats on that game.

If the world ever ends I will promise dear readers I will provide you with news of the Sport Beat of the new world. And if the World ever begins I will be with you all.

After living through this weekend I am fully confident that the Ducks will win the National Championship. Thomas looks sharp and Costa is ready if he falls down. Coach Kelly needs these warriors to believe that they are the ones destined to conquer the Pac 10 with unrestrained force.