ESPN building a Tent City in Eugene

In the South no one locks their door. I thought for a long time it was because they are so hospitable or open to strangers, but now I know it's because of laziness. I like to have the door open myself maybe out of laziness. I like the freedom it gives me and the fresh air is nice to because I have been told that my feet smell like a dead goat.

The mothership of Sports arrives in Eugene this Saturday, the game kicks off at 5:00 and ESPN will be centered in tailgate central. I have heard off other schools wearing the same color when ESPN 's very popular college game day comes to town. I will be keeping an eye on that but will find it tough since my only Ducks shirt is a black.

The Pigs in town have flatly stated that they expect very little trouble from the locals. Last week after the Ducks kicked ASU in the teeth there were too many parties to frequent, but one party 8 blocks from my home was a full scale riot, one of the biggest in the last 10 years and the season or classes haven't even started yet. The chief pig said this morning" that people are tired after the game and just want to go home" Tired? Maybe you are coward pussy cub. The riot last week was definitely not football related and started as the "party down the street" and attended by mostly pimply Freshman Sadly I missed but rode my bike just a few block from it when I finally called it a night around 4. Watch this video to see for your self though. 20 cop cars 7 from Springfield and 5 sheriff deputies all told. And they don't expect any trouble from this game? College game decided to come to Eugene to see them play Stanford over Texas vs. Oklahoma and thats a big deal. The duck are currently 6 point favorites and need this victory now to set the tone for the balance of the season. Right now Stanford is clearly the second best team in the Pac-10 and they have the #1 pick in the 2012 draft( if we are still here) in Andrew Luck.

The Ducks created a lot of stress last week with there early sloppy fucking defense. I carefully listened to the game on a boom box in a loft atop a Burning Man decompression party. Watching the party folk spew labels , obscenities, lies, and painful stares and waiting for the drugs to kick in posture was a hoot. As we huddled like men in a micro football huddle we discussed are most painful tales between breaks in the action, and during the game we all felt a sense of arcane telekinesis. Maybe it was the Ohming that was going on. When the game sadly ended I observed a gentleman carving up a large yellowfin tuna, putting in a sauce bag and calmly laying on a roaring grill. " so this is Christmas for the weak and strong the rich and the poor the road is so long........"

Soon another year will be over and we will look back on this game as a turning point for the Ducks. A win this Saturday against a top 10 team and a conference opponent will force the hands off these east coast dimwits to move the Ducks to the Top. Why not? Think about it. Do something about.

Then we will paint our faces and Dance.

So look for me this Saturday on Espn. I will do my best to do my best.

Open Thread Oregon versus Portland State

Let the games begin!!! Its raining and a pleasent 72 degrees and I am tailgaiting in the Whiteaker now.

Ducks embarrass the Knoxville Tennessee Volunteers 48-13

The contrasting culture crash was in full display on Saturday as Tennessee started white hot rushing for 200 yards in the first quarter but Phil Simms genetic offspring looked greener than than a duck neck. A sec power house versus the upstart pac 10 dark hoarse turned harbinger I was very looking forward to this game. I must admit I have been watching nothing but SEC football since I was 9. Tennessee's QB lat year Jonathan Compton who was drafted in the 5th round and later cut by the Chargers sadly attended my high school. One of my best mates "The Crazy Spaniard" teaches there. I got 6 tattoos in a in an evil redneck town a short ride in a cigarette getter from Knoxville.

I have watched maybe a dozen pac 10 games over the years.

My prediction for the final was 48-13

And the final score was 42-13

I am currently collecting money for a big bet on the Ducks versus Portland on Saturday at 5dimes for their brave 52 point spread. They are the only major point setter at this point who has released a point spread for this game. I thought anything over 46 points was a risk at first. Now I believe the final score will be close to 92-3 type game. So contact me asap if you want to get on in this money train.

This was the first time I had the privilege to see the ducks on TV and was impressed that they could go into Knoxville and run 25 draw plays and win. The breakdown was game planned by Coach Kelly I have no doubt as the young Volunteers prematurely ejaculated on the belly of the Duck.

What can prevent this Ducks to win the National Championship?! OMFG!

My game day experience had a serendipitous beginning then was quickly stalled as a lightning storm delayed the game in the first quarter. It was a sign from Zeus. The Ducks were being stunned over and over. And the lightning delayed came at a perfect time. The momentum earned was taken by Zeus lightning bolts. As we watched the game at a new friends house on his large Vizio I was thinking of the Living Room Culture I was told about when I arrived here. It was fun to look up and out the window to see and hear dangerous and defective humans.

Knoxville and Eugene is distant as planet X and Thursday. The Fans have the same wild fever for their teams but the city's are so different. Eugene has the Whiteaker and Knoxville has a main street that looks like a Boxcar shit stain.

Darron Thomas the Ducks new QB seemed locked in on his first target 87% of the time. And the few times he did look down field he had incredible success. I watched one play closely as he called an audible into a run play, something you seldom see but a sure sign of maturity and confidence. He is playing the role of step-mom now. The hot one. I may be wrong on this.

Next week will be my first time in Auzten stadium. Wish me luck.

Tailgaiting in Mt Hood and the biggest blowout ever.

This was the view from my tailgating to the Ducks first football game. The ducks snuffed out those poor bastards from New Mexico 72-0. At the base of the tallest mountain in Oregon, Mt Hood, I listened to history on the radio of a Tacoma. The biggest upset in Autzen stadium happened on saturday and the forked tongue of fate and a group of young writers with a penchant for spirited times schlepped me here. Snuggled against the cascades and with the bluest sky I have ever seen In my life I drank beer and listen to the football game alongside a dirty truck.

The hours before kick off were spent swimming in cold springs, shooting a bow and arrow,burning devil wood, smoking cigarettes, laughing maniacally, soul searching, hiking, debating scattered illusions, Mudin', exchanging kinetic energy, drinking Keystone and red wine, and dancing with Dionysus. The intensity felt in our tent city was at a frothy slobbering pace. And the wildlife ran fast in the opposite directions for their survival. Just as New Mexico should have done . It seemed a strange ritual at the time that these sad children had to drive all the way to Eugene Oregon and deliberately and elaborately arrange their own funeral.

We celebrated first contact after kick off with primal screams and hard bony hugs of joy and delirium. And listened to the party animals in Eugene (drinking off there hangovers with jager in an empty camel light packs) scream with us. This is why they invented sports. To commune with god and family with nothing else but the sharing of an individual experience. Maybe theatre in the park is close for some.

I calmed my mind with a couple games of chess in the back of the Tacoma. As I was playing I was attempting to listen carefully to the game. The importance of which was never lost. What I noticed was goobers gabble fragments of waste. The announcers were Oregon State Beaver talking heads and sounded bored and a little nervous over the score. The thought of Eugene being very drunk and loud gave me great joy .

Everyone performed liked they should have, although I would have loved to be a part of a 80 point game. The ducks must travel now to Knoxville Tennessee next week to face some severely talented hillbillies surrounded by 109,000 thousand petulant hayseeds. The Ducks needed to stretch their legs a little.

The Records

59-0 at halftime

720 total yards

72 total points (tie)

5 TD Kenjon Barner ( tie)

They also held the Lobos to a total of 107 yards and forced 5 turnovers

After the game I thought of 4,000 pasty white men in Eugene opening their Register Guard and jetting straight to the Sports section, with a bit of pre cum dripping they smile endlessly at the stats on that game.

If the world ever ends I will promise dear readers I will provide you with news of the Sport Beat of the new world. And if the World ever begins I will be with you all.

After living through this weekend I am fully confident that the Ducks will win the National Championship. Thomas looks sharp and Costa is ready if he falls down. Coach Kelly needs these warriors to believe that they are the ones destined to conquer the Pac 10 with unrestrained force.

Training Camp Musing.

Football season is upon us. And nobody I talk to have a clear thought on who is going to be the Ducks new starter at QB. Everyone seems to love the potential of Thomas, ( does Costa not have potential too?) And the fact that Thomas has a similar build as Dennis Dixon doesn't hurt his chances. But I don't really know how the practices are going on a daily basis or who the team wants to be the QB. I don't care either. It's great to have two quarterbacks who have spent so much time with a veteran OL and WR core. Those units should wreak have havoc on the Pac-10 this year. And I have faith the coaches will make the best decision

Someone told me yesterday they drink Jaegermeister out of empty camel packs at Autzen stadium during the game. I can't wait to raise unholy hell with the students. The football fans in the South are pussies, wine and cheese nerds , Walmart consuming nascar obsessed rednecks. I am in Kesey country and loving the passion in Eugene.

The Face of Stupid

The dark side of the beat got crushed as two cops were tackled late last night by Oregon State 19 year old red shirt freshman yler Patrick Thomas of Kalispell, Mont. Police found Patrick shitfaced in a strangers house, they ordered him to get on the ground and he got in a three point stance and tackled two police officers. Patcrik got hit hard with some stun guns. Oh by the way he was naked. Corvallis WTF? He was immediately kicked off the team.

On bis Bio it lists his biggest athletic thrill to date was beating the six-time state wrestling champion of (Gillette, WY) at their home in a wrestling dual. It also says that we was supposed to get a lot of playing time on the offensive line and that he has a ton of potential.

This I am sure tips the balance of power. I was leaning towards the Beavers slapping the Ducks around. But know I think the Ducks win the Pac 10 and crush the Beavers.

Tackling two cops while wasted in a strangers house shouldn't shock anyone. With a healthy dose of hard booze and drugs along with extreme boredom life and relationships fly out the fucking window. And throw in the fact he has been trained to be a demon sports freak why should it surprise or shock anyone. I am happy the Beavers are a little weaker today and he wasn't shot, but big deal.

40-1 to Win it all? Notre Dame and U of O.

I know its sounds really crazy but that's what Vegas is saying right now. Me being a curious newcomer want to see the validity of this strange odds. I will attempt to grade the main units of said teams.

ND Offense- D+


"Again, I think the running back is a guy that needs to run the football first. So we talk ad nauseam, You’re in the spread offense, you run the ball. You can’t win unless you run the ball. If you just throw it, you’re not going to win all your games." Ok dipshit tell the world what you are going to do, new coach was quoted yesterday. So who do they have and is he any good. Their featured back has never smelled a 1000 yards and the back up has 13 td but wasnt on the field for pivotal 3rd downs last year.
UO Offense B+

The unfinished buisness of the QB spot hurts a little. Chemistry needs time to cultivate. But from what I hear the sophmore is the more exciting player.

ND Defense F

Ranked 86 last year. The best palyers are sophmore MLB Manti Te'o and secondary stud Gary Gray.

UO Defense A

I think this is the strength with hall of fame Linebackers 2 deep. Mathews will lead a Unit to consecutive shutouts this year I predict.

ND Coaching - Incomplete

Both new coaches. Both tools and disciplinarians, I doubt they we be much fun.

UO Coaching- Incomplete


Do you think Notre Dame and Uof O have equal chance to secure a championship?